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by Dr. Adina McGarr | May 22, 2012 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

“Resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies” (Author unknown)

Posted via email from My Santa Barbara Therapy Updates

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Valentines Day doesn’t look like it used to! Ho Valentines Day doesn’t look like it used to! Hope yours was sweet! ❤️
Want the magic formula for unlimited motivation? Want the magic formula for unlimited motivation? Me too! Even the most driven of us will experience ups and downs in our desire to do things.⁣ ⁣ However, waiting until you feel motivated almost always isn’t the best approach. Momentum creates momentum and accomplishing even the smallest of tasks releases dopamine, which is helpful in the pursuit of feeling more motivated.⁣ ⁣ This is why even the act of making your bed in the morning starts you off on the right foot. ⁣ ⁣ Motivation also fizzles out if you source or rely on others to keep you moving. This is why people often feel inspired and gung ho after listening to someone else’s motivational content only to lose steam shortly thereafter.⁣ ⁣ The key is to look within and identify purposeful activity and valued ways of living. Commit daily to showing up in this way, whether you feel like it or not. ⁣ ⁣ Motivation doesn’t always lead sometimes it follows. xo⁣ ⁣
My daughter accidentally broke a huge mercury glas My daughter accidentally broke a huge mercury glass lamp last week. (Swipe through). While I wasn’t happy about it, mistakes happen, she’s three, etc, etc.⁣ ⁣ But, I did get angry...only not with her, but with my husband (no it wasn’t displacement), because it was a huge mess and he was sauntering around and not acting quickly enough (if you ask me).⁣ ⁣ It actually escalated into a ridiculous argument and I ended up going to bed mad and full of fire.⁣ ⁣ The thing is the average emotion lasts about 7 minutes, some sources say 90 sec., but 7 minutes seems more realistic in my book.⁣ ⁣ Well, mine didn’t because our argument happened a full hour before I relegated myself to my room and I’m pretty sure I even had angry dreams.⁣ ⁣ There are three things that will guarantee getting stuck in an emotion or worse, inciting it.⁣ 1. Acting on the emotions⁣ 2. Repetitive negative thinking⁣ 3. Trying to avoid or suppress it⁣ ⁣ Here’s what I did wrong. Check to number one ✅ and two ✅⁣ ⁣ It’s hard to be mindful and just observe emotions rising within you, but if you avoid the three traps above, they will pass much more quickly. xo⁣
Who feels me when I say 2020 did not go according Who feels me when I say 2020 did not go according to plan and so far 2021 hasn’t been the panacea we were all hoping for? ⁣ ⁣ So many things remain unknown and far from business as usual. BUT, what I know for certain is that resisting the hiccups in our day or the bigger problems in our lives only amplifies them.⁣ ⁣ Resistance leads to distress, rigidity, irritation and a whole host of other emotional outcomes that we don’t want to cultivate.⁣ ⁣ It’s not always easy to take things in stride, but the intention to adapt goes a long way. ⁣ ⁣ It helps your overall well-being and increases your resilience. All of which are so needed right now. xo⁣ ⁣ ⁣
Yesterday a client said to me “how do I get myse Yesterday a client said to me “how do I get myself to follow through on something I don’t 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 like doing?”⁣ ⁣ Lots of ways to go with this one, but states of mind can be influenced and one of the ways to do this is with priming. ⁣ ⁣ In other words, give cues to your brain to help shift you into the right state or mindset. ⁣ ⁣ For example, simply putting on your shoes and workout clothes helps prime the state of mind that 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 like working out. ⁣ ⁣ Don’t 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 like studying or working, bring in cues that normally accompany these things.⁣ ⁣ Definitely not a foolproof strategy, but it helps! Let me know what you do to shift your mindset!⁣ ⁣
I am officially turning into my mom! The older I I am officially turning into my mom! The older I get, the more I find myself drawn to activities that she liked and I HATED as a child.⁣ ⁣ As is obvious from the photo, I’ve taken up what I thought was a pretty geriatric activity, but am now revamping as not only entertaining, but good for mental health.⁣ ⁣ Turns out there’s a nice little dopamine hit that accompanies finding and fitting the right piece and completing the task of putting it all together.⁣ ⁣ For the serotonin seekers out there, there’s something in it for you too. It’s meditative and soothing, which stimulates the release of this mood stabilizing neurotransmitter.⁣ ⁣ Don’t forget to swipe through to see a list of more activities that stimulate these chemicals, as well as few others, courteous of @anxiety_wellbeing.⁣ ⁣ And a big thanks to a special aunt @adonicamcgarr for the fun puzzle!⁣

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Licensed Clinical Psychologist #22253
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